So, it's 2014 already.
In October, ateotu is going to be turning 10 years old. I can't believe it's been so long and I'm nowhere near the end, but things are starting to come together finally. It's been such a long journey and so many things have changed.
The characters have changed, I've changed, their world and my waking world has changed too.
When I'm finally done or when I really get the ball rolling on it now that ideas are becoming finallized, it won't even be called ateotu anymore. I've... I've become ateotu, to be honest. It's grown to be more of my name than their name. I've become largely involved in the "youtaite" community these days, which centers mostly around covering Vocaloid songs and posting it on youtube, haha. I go by ateotu, therefore I am ateotu. (It was so weird in the beginning after being called Aura for so many years haha. I'm still fine with both!)
I've met a lot of people and made a lot of wonderful friends last year. I'm truly blessed, even with some rougher experiences.
I guess in news no one really needs to know, but I want to talk about it because this is my journal-- I'm single again.
I broke up with my boyfriend, it would have been about 4 years if we were still together. I think a lot of people thought we'd be together forever and it was good while it lasted... But it was over when it was over. There was some things I just had to accept about myself, one of them being that I'm just really not into men at all. I blamed it on lack of experience in the beginning because I truly believed I could love anyone regardless of gender. But when it comes to bedroom activity, it turns out there is a massive difference. Sleeping with a man is as unappealing as it was before the relationship and when it ended. I thought that maybe I'd get used to it with time, but I never did and sadly, I don't think I was ever really interested in his downstairs area even once. Like, there is literally no desire for dick at all. Hahaha.
I don't regret my time with him though, and he deserves someone who wants a man and not me. I know I broke his heart, but I hope he finds happiness in the future.
I'm happier this way though. I don't have to lie anymore about this part of me (I mean, I can't really say I don't think I'm into men when I'm in a relationship with one) and I just feel like I can be myself again. I cut my hair super short and I coloured it again, I ate the foods I've always enjoyed eating without guilt! Although I may have over-indulged a little too much......;;;
I moved back home with my parents for now too because my living situation isn't so great, but it actually works better for all of us. Work is just really shitty at the moment and with the costs of living, being on my own is next to impossible.
Let's hope this year is wonderful and full of good surprises. I'm still not dead, so that's a positive thing, haha! ♥
It's likely I won't post another journal again until next year.... But you know, if you want to talk and catch up, I'll leave some links so you know where you can find me and we can keep in touch or even reconnect! Keep in mind, I talk about a lot of stupid shit on twitter, so follow at your own discretion...
Skype: ateotu (tell me who you are if you add me ;A; )
And if you want to hear some so-so singing and stuff, you can find that here: